GMF#19 | Lessons from Adler, Gratitude, and a Yellow Care Bear
TL;DR: As 2024 draws to a close, it’s a time for reflection. My 2-year-old son’s endless “why” questions have me revisiting the one question I’ve been asked repeatedly as the founder of Give.Asia: “Why did you start it, and why do you continue to do it?” Early on, I didn’t have a clear answer, but through learning from thinkers like Alfred Adler and reflecting on the words “grateful” and “considerate,” I’ve found my “why.” I do this to remind myself to be grateful and so my child learns how to be considerate.
Reflection Fuels Purpose: The end of the year is a time to pause and revisit the “why” behind our actions, especially for meaningful pursuits like Give.Asia.
Adler’s Wisdom: Alfred Adler’s philosophy highlights the transformative power of loving not just ourselves or others, but us—the community and connections we share.
The Story of Us: Focusing on “us” means giving without holding back or keeping score, creating a shared story that brings joy and fulfillment to everyone involved.
Core Values: Gratitude fosters connection and positivity, while consideration ensures we act with awareness of the world beyond ourselves—both are essential for a meaningful life.
Why We Give: Give.Asia’s mission is a reminder to be grateful and to inspire the next generation, like my son, to grow up being considerate and connected to others.
The Year of Asking Why
It’s near the end of the year—a natural time to pause and reflect. Recently, my 2-year-old son has entered the “why” phase, asking that question about every little thing he sees. While it can be exhausting at times, it has also reminded me of the most frequent “why” I get asked:
“Why did you start Give.Asia, and why do you continue to do it?”
It’s a question I’ve carried with me throughout this journey, one I revisit often to understand myself better.
Finding My Why
When Give.Asia began, I honestly didn’t have a profound answer. If you had asked me back then, I would have said something like, “I enjoy doing startups, and this is a challenging problem that technology can solve.”
But 2024 gave me a chance to rethink my “why.” I had the privilege of learning from someone I greatly admire: Alfred Adler.
Meeting Adler Through Books
My first “meeting” with Adler was through The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi. This book made me question whether I was doing what I loved or merely doing what was expected of me. Was I living my own story, or was I trapped in someone else’s narrative?
I realized that a phrase from my childhood had always lingered in my mind:
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
While it’s an iconic line from Uncle Ben to Peter Parker, it became a weight for me over time. I was grateful for the amazing people who joined me on this journey, but responsibility turned into duty, and I often felt lost in the motions.
Then came my second meeting with Adler—this time through his own work, What Life Should Mean to You. It was here that I found a hint to my answer. Adler’s ideas about loving ourselves, others, and “us” struck a chord.
The Power of Loving Us
Here’s how I’d paraphrase it:
“It’s good to love ourselves and love others. But what’s truly transformative is when we learn to love us.”
When we focus on “us,” giving becomes natural. We don’t hold back, and we don’t keep score. Every contribution adds to the story of us, a story that brings joy and connection. The more we see these connections in our community, the more obvious it becomes that giving our best for us is the most fulfilling thing we can do.
This realization changed something in me. I started thinking about how I could focus more on the story of us.
Grateful and Considerate
As someone who loves words, two stood out to me: grateful and considerate.
Grateful reminds me that I’m not alone, that I live in a deeply connected world. It shifts my focus to the positives, as gratitude is the antidote to envy.
Considerate is a value I deeply want to instill in my child. I think Trevor Noah put it best when he said being considerate is about acknowledging the world beyond yourself. (If you haven’t seen his take, it’s worth a watch: Trevor Noah on Consideration).
Returning to the Reflection
So, as I reflect on this past year, the “why” behind Give.Asia has become clearer.
I do this to remind myself to be grateful and to ensure my son grows up knowing how to be considerate. And maybe, just maybe, it’s because my best friend growing up was a yellow Care Bear.
